The idea of being a wedding doula came to me after I spontaneously filled that role for a friend in 2012. As the wedding approached, I helped to make sure that she took care of herself, spoke with her about what she needed to feel calm and confident and took steps to make sure those things happened. This consisted of last minute logistics (hanging balloons, making signs, etc), making sure the bride had time to herself, helping set up the venue, and speaking with the mothers of the bride and groom to process all they were feeling and needing.

On the day of the wedding, a huge wind storm knocked out the power and a torrential rain storm made the outdoor ceremony site no longer possible. In the wake of all these events, my friend remained calm and centered, knowing that things were in good hands. I was able to bring her news as well as help carry out the new plan.

The whole process felt natural and filled me with light, happy energy. I got so much positive feedback from both the bride and groom and their families that I thought, “this is what I’m meant to do. Support women and their families through the wedding process.”

Since then, I have gone through the process myself and have realized the complexity of emotions that come with marriage. The media makes us think the whole process is kittens and rainbows. But in reality, marriage and weddings bring up all types of emotions. Happy ones, yes, but also those of grief, loss, frustration, anger, and sadness.

Some of these can catch you by surprise and you may not know what to do with them. It doesn’t always feel safe to share them with your partner or family. That is where my skills come in. I can listen to you, affirm your feelings and help you to identify ways to release or move through them.

By exploring the feelings that arise, you are able to be more fully be present with your partner and as well as the wedding process. You become more understanding of your family members and their feelings and, ultimately, end up enjoying your wedding day so much more.

In the video above I delve deep into  my journey to becoming a Wedding Doula. It includes the story told below and more – including how the loss of my father opened up parts of myself I’d buried.