What is a wedding doula?
Similar to birth doula, a wedding doula works with a couple to support them not only with the practical and logistical aspects of wedding planning, but with the emotional ups and downs of being engaged.
What’s the difference between a Wedding Planner and a Wedding Doula?
| Wedding Planner* | Wedding Doula |
| Handles wedding logistics: coordinating vendors, etc… | Supports the bride* (or one to be wed) on the emotional journey of planning a wedding and being engaged |
| Helps to coordinate guests and vendors on the day of the wedding and usher the Brides and Grooms to photography | Focuses on the emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being of the Brides, Grooms and their families. |
| Can “take control” of the wedding planning process (to help it go smoothly) | Offers reflections and suggestions to consider to help maximize enjoyment. |
| Uses a “Sympathetic yet Pragmatic” approach to communicating with Brides and Grooms | Uses a coaching/counseling approach, taking the time to explore and resolve feelings along the way. |
| Offers opinions on flowers, colors, decorations, cake, etc… | Asks probing questions to help find the decision that resonates best with you. |
Why have a wedding doula?
When it comes to weddings, there’s plenty of advice out there. Plenty of judgemental view points and opinionated relatives to tell you how to do things.
What is really needed in the midst of all these voices is some stillness, calm, connection to your inner & higher self that knows exactly what is right and wrong for you.
Often this knowing is covered with a thick layer of grief, anger, sadness, regret, sorrow, guilt, jealousy, confusion, and fear.
When doubts arise, we push them off. When a parent frustrates, us we get angry. Rarely do we pause and allow ourselves to safely express these emotions and explore the wisdom they are trying to give us.
A wedding doula provides emotional support and a safe space for the bride, groom or couple to work through all the feelings that arise during engagement and wedding planning.
I have a close, supportive family, why should I consider having a wedding doula?
When family members have close ties to each other and often offer each other support through major life events, the wedding day can be a new challenge.
The people close to the bride and groom are processing their own feelings of loss, acceptance, and change.
These people who you have leaned on for years to help you through tough times may not be able to support you through your engagement emotions because they are having some intense ones themselves.
Do you just work with Brides and Grooms?
No! In fact, some of the most important work I do is supporting the parents of the ones to be wed.
What do Brides have to say?
Would you recommend a wedding doula to other women? Why?
“Yes. My family and friends were wonderful, supportive and helpful but I still needed a wedding doula. I can’t imagine if I had an anxious mother, overbearing mother-in-law, or some sort of family drama on top of the inevitable stress and emotions around getting married. You pour so much money and planning into this one day, a wedding doula helps you be able to actually enjoy it by empowering you to feel your best spiritually, emotionally and physically.”
“Yes. So much time during wedding planning is spent on literally just the wedding. It is so helpful and necessary to think past the wedding into the marriage. A doula can help with these emotions and what it means to BE married not to GET married.”
